


Don't Forget to Pay the Ferryman

by orphan_account



Category: BioShock Infinite, Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Fusion, Bioshock AU, Gratuitous use of vigors, M/M, Vigors (BioShock Infinite)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-29
Updated: 2014-05-29
Packaged: 2018-01-27 00:13:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1707758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My name is Wade Wilson. I'm a mercenary currently under Tony Stark's employ. I'm supposed to kidnap the seed of the prophet. Otherwise known as Prophet Ferrum's son, Peter. When I took this job I was human. I don't know exactly what went wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Forget to Pay the Ferryman

The bass pounded throughout the club. The girls on stage were seductive and sweet and Wade had a pocket full of cash that made him a bit crazy in the best possible way. It was here that he met Tony Stark.

“Wade Wilson. I’ve been looking for you for a while. You’re a hard man to track down,” the man said as he stood before Wade’s booth. The mercenary took a long drag of his cigar and let the smoke out slowly.

“Can’t say I know who you are,” he drawled, knowing exactly who Stark was. “But I’ve been away on business for a while.”

“Ready for another trip?” Tony asked, taking a seat. Wade poured him a drink and studied the man as he took a sip.

“That depends,” he finally answered. “What’s your pocketbook look like?”

Tony didn’t look surprised in the least. Instead of answering, he withdrew an envelope from his inner pocket and slid it Wade’s way. He took it with a raised eyebrow and opened it. The other eyebrow joined its’ fellow.

“The job is important to me. I’ll pay half up front and half upon completion,” the P.I. explained. He nursed the rest of his drink as Wade thought it through.

“I’ll need to know the terms and objectives before I make a solid decision,” he decided. “But let me tell you, this does look rather promising.”

Tony smiled and raised his glass.

* * *

The next week saw him in a boat off the coast of Maine with two strangers getting soaking wet and _not_ in a good way.

“Are you just going to sit there?” the man asked in his upper class accent. He barely seemed phased by the extensive rowing he’d done leading up to this point.

Before he could answer, the woman jumped to his defense.

“As opposed to what? Standing?”

“Not standing,” the man said long-sufferingly. “Rowing.”

The woman answered again, “Rowing? I hadn’t planned on it.”

As she spoke, she passed a box back to Wade. It was embossed with his name and regiment from his days in the military.

“So you expect me to shoulder the burden?” he complained. Wade didn’t see much for him to complain about. At least those two had thought to bring raincoats. He was positively freezing.

Instead of showing weakness to the strangers, he tried to question the woman as to what the box was. She ignored him and turned her full attention back to the man.

“No. But I do expect you to do all the rowing.”

“And why is that?”

“Coming here was your idea.

“My idea?”

“I’ve made it very clear that I don’t believe in the exercise.”

“The rowing?”

“No. I imagine that’s wonderful exercise.”

“Then what?”

“The entire thought experiment. You planted the idea in Stark’s head.”

Whether they realized it or not, that was a juicy tidbit for Wade. He’d been fully debriefed on what his engagement entailed but there was never a thing as too much information.

“How much longer?” Wade asked before they could go off on another tangent. They still paid him no attention.

“One goes into an experiment knowing one could fail.”

Great. So this was a science thing. His head was hurting already. He ignored them and began to search the box that the woman had given him.

“One does not undertake an experiment knowing one _has_ failed.”

Wade shook his head to himself. The woman couldn’t know the future. He instead looked at the contents of the box. First to his attention was a discreet pistol that he was sure he could smuggle in. Wade took the gun in his hand and checked it out. It seemed well enough to get him through the engagement.

The man replied to the woman irritably with: “Can we get back to the rowing?”

“I suggest you do or we’re never going to get there.”

“No! I mean I’d greatly appreciate it if you would assist.”

Wade took up a photograph next. It showed a brown haired boy that didn’t seem to be aware of the camera. It had to be his target. The one Stark hired him to extract. “Peter” was written on one corner. On the back of the photo was writing that read “Bring to New York unharmed.”

As if he needed the reminder.

“Perhaps you should ask him? I imagine he has a greater interest in getting there than I do,” the woman said carelessly. Both of them continued to not look at him.

“I suppose he does. But there’s no point in asking.”

“Why not?”

“Because he doesn’t row?”

“He doesn’t _row_?”

“No. He _doesn’t_ row.”

“Ah, I see what you mean.”

Wade had no idea what the two were saying. If they really wanted him to, he could make an effort. It couldn’t be a hard thing to learn. But he didn’t argue, as the boat was quickly approaching the dock. They had already arrived, so what would have been the point?

“We’ve arrived,” the woman declared, sounding rather ominous. In his last moment in the boat, he took the key out of the box and stashed it on his person, just in case.

He turned to the ladder and pulled himself and his box up and out of the boat. When he stood on the dock, he turned his face upwards, regardless of the rain, just to look at the lighthouse he had just arrived at. He’d been promised transport from here to the floating city of Columbia… but how?

Not caring about Wade’s dilemma, the man began turning the boat to make the return trip.

“Shall we tell him when we’ll be returning?” the woman asked the man.

“Would that change anything?” the man countered.

Yes, Wade wanted to answer. Yes it would. It would have given him a timeframe at the very least.

“It might give him some comfort,” the woman suggested.

Or that. But what was there to be nervous about? It was a routine extraction. The only interesting factor was the location.

“At least that’s something we can agree on,” the man said ruefully.

Unable to let them go without answering at least _one_ of his questions, Wade called out, “Hey! Is somebody meeting me here? It looks deserted!”

“I’d certainly hope so!” the man cheerfully responded.

“It does seem like a dreadful place to be stranded,” the woman added as they moved just out of earshot. Wade grit his teeth as he watched them go then looked back to the lighthouse behind him.

“There better be someone inside,” Wade growled. “Or I’m getting creative.”

Upon ducking into the shack for a moment, he found a handful of silver eagles and a wrecked boat he may or may not have been able to rehabilitate if need be. He kept it in the back of his mind as he made his way towards the island. It looked truly impressive with the remains of a boat being dashed against the rock with the choppy waves.

He took the staircase up to the front doors where he found a note pinned to the door.

“Stark –

Bring us the boy and wipe away the debt. THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE!”

Wade frowned at it but took it down and pocketed the note. Like he always said: there’s no such thing as too much information. He pounded on the door as he yelled, “Excuse me! It’s Wade Wilson. I guess you’re expecting me?”

There was no answer, so the most logical thing for him to do was push the door open and enter. It was a relief to escape the rain and at least there was lighting inside. There was an eerie feeling over the building and it put Wade on guard.

The first thing he noticed when he entered was a cross-stitch with the words “OF THY SINS SHALL I ASH THEE”. It honestly looked like something that belonged in Wade’s grandmother’s house. Or would have belonged. The old woman was long dead.

But it seemed serious enough that whoever owned the lighthouse placed out a basin of water and some towels. He walked over and examined the basin but the thought of using it never crossed his mind.

“Good luck with that, pal,” Wade sneered instead and looked for the staircase up. It was just to the right and had another cross-stitch.

“FROM SODOM SHALL I LEAD THEE”

It was also ignored as Wade made his way upwards in search of a person to help him on his way. On his ascent, he called out, “Hey! Anyone home? I have an appointment I need to keep!”

The next landing seemed more lived in. Music played in the background. There were supplies and the like placed orderly. With absolutely no regret, he took various things liberally. After rooting around a bit, he tried the telephone without any real hope. As expected, it was dead. However, there was a cautionary note pinned to the map above the desk. It mentioned that someone was coming and to be prepared.

Wade wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad thing.

On the other side of the landing plates were broken on the ground. His hopes for a smooth engagement were sliding farther and farther away.

The cross-stitch on the other staircase read: “TO THINE OWN LAND SHALL I TAKE THEE”

Grimly, the mercenary ascended the second staircase. He ignored the bloody handprint on the wall resolutely. Books were strewn on the top stairs and the shelf seemed about to slide down. He pushed it back on the landing as he passed.

He was unsurprised when he saw the body sitting under the light. He walked over to gather information but there wasn’t much. The blood started beside the top of the staircase and dragged on towards where the corpse was sitting now. It was hooded and wearing rather nondescript clothes. Various tools that could have and were probably used as torture aids were sitting on a stool close by. The only other thing of note was a sign on his lap that read “DON’T DISAPPOINT US.”

Wade turned to the next staircase with a new cross-stitch. “IN NEW EDEN SOIL SHALL I PLANT THEE”

“Shit,” he cursed quietly. “This is gonna be one of those religious type things.”

Resolutely, he climbed the staircase.

He found himself in the rain again and was pissed off almost instantaneously. The next obstacle was a door with three bells attached. He studied them closely and saw the images etched on the surfaces of the bells. He frowned fearsomely as he thought it over.

“The card,” he eventually realized. He set the box down on the ground and rifled through it. It was at this time he took the photograph of Peter and the postcard of the place he was supposed to be and stuffed them in with the note he’d taken from the front door. The last card had three symbols on it, each with a number beside it.

He rang each bell the indicated amount of times and in the indicated order and took a step back.

At first, it seemed as if nothing was happening.

But then red light burst forth from the sky as a deep horn sounded. Wade cursed fluently in German and drew his pistol. He wasn’t sure what he could shoot but by God he would make the honest effort.

The light show and the varying deep horns continued for a tense ten seconds before the light in the lighthouse began reacting as well. It flashed in brief instances for a short time and then the sky went red some more.

Wade hunkered down by the door, keeping his back to the bells and watched it happen with a wild look in his eyes. When the bells started going off behind him he very nearly jumped so hard he fell off the lighthouse.

As he whirled around, he saw the light rise up and the door as well. In the room a chair folded out from the ground. He stepped inside and looked at it suspiciously. It was a clear invitation, though one he was wary of taking.

“There’s no one here. The crazy twins won’t be back for who knows how long. I honestly am out of options. Here goes.”

Wade climbed into the chair and sat in suspense. Almost at once, the shackles closed around his wrists. The floor below him began to contort and a voice crackled to life from a speaker system. It was feminine and would have been soothing if things weren’t happening quite so quickly.

“Make yourself ready, pilgrim. The bindings are there as a safeguard.”

“Like hell,” Wade muttered nervously as the floor rose around him. “This can’t be good.”

The pieces converged and fused into a pod-like structure around him. There was a window directly in front of him at least. It was a small comfort that lasted only a brief second until the chair tipped and the gun fell out of his grip.

“Goddammit,” he yelled as it was promptly incinerated below him. The chair returned to normal positioning and the voice spoke again.

“Ascension… Ascension in the count of five… count of four… three… two… one…”

And then the pod was flying straight up at unbelievable speeds. If you asked Wade later, he would deny it but in that moment he shrieked like a small child meeting a clown for the first time.

“Ascension. Ascension. Five thousand feet… Ten thousand feet… Fifteen thousand feet…”

The pod burst through the clouds and pure light poured in through the window.

“Hallelujah.”

**Author's Note:**

> Not beta read or even reread. This is just a trial. I want to write out BioShock Infinite with Peter and Wade and Tony Stark. This is just to get a read on if people want to read something like it, so if you liked it please leave kudos or a comment.
> 
> If anyone out there want to beta for me, hit me up on tumblr. Or if anyone just wants to say hi, have at! www.readerlust.tumblr.com


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